So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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