you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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