She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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