what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
