So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
