Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
