Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
