She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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