My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
