this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
