Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
