Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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