Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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