If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
