haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
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