Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I pour the whiskey from now on
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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