I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
