What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
