i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
