I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
