you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
