Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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