Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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