My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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