So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
