he wants to bone in the snuggie
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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