Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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