I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
