She is in my trunk
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
