Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
