Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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