Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
