There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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