So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
