In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
