Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
