Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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