apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Randomize
