i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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