even my farts smell like vagina
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
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