I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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