So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
he just fucked me for my cheese..
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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