So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
