How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
