So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
