Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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