Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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