so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
