bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
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