So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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