i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
